3 Tips on How to Start Establishing Boundaries for the Holidays

It’s almost that time of the year again & I can’t begin to find the words to describe how exciting the holiday season is. 

Do you also feel excited about Christmas?

It is a one of a kind season, and often comes along with heightened emotions in relation to all the preparations and expectations from your friends, family and loved ones that come with this season, I would understand if you also feel a bit stressed.

Nevertheless, it is still the most wonderful time of the year! Let’s not spoil the holiday cheer. And take a look at why and how you can go about establishing your holiday boundaries. To come through safe and sound on the other side.

What are boundaries?

This is a follow-up on a episode where I coverd why you need boundaries. You can check it out here: https://fitwitheik.com/blog/boundaries-101-what-are-they-amp-why-do-we-need-them

In the simplest terms, boundaries are basically your own, personal list of what’s okay & what’s not okay. You define the terms, you set your own boundaries. Often, boundaries are misinterpreted as pushing people away or being unreasonable.

BUT, the truth is, it’s not! It’s so much more than just what people see it to be. It’s a very healthy way to make space for yourself that not only benefit you, but even others around you. You give more & live better when you are able to create a safe space for yourself, too.

Boundaries for the Holidays

And, with the upcoming holidays, it can get stressful & people may or may not cross some boundaries. Whether it be the food to prepare, the presents to buy or simply just how you choose to spend your Christmas, it can get overwhelming, I understand, which makes it even more necessary to establish boundaries.

How to create them? Or how to even start?

Here are some tips that I could share in establishing healthy boundaries, which later on help you avoid uncomfortable situations during the holidays.

Here are 3 very simple yet very effective tips on How to Establish Holiday Boundaries

• #1 Know your limits.

Do not exceed beyond your limitations, especially during the holidays. I know it can get quite frustrating especially when we take on too much holidays tasks or spend too much money for holiday presents that it stresses us out. This can affect us mentally & it’s not okay, so you need to be knowing your limits when it comes to these things. 

Recognize your limitations & whatever causes you the greatest stress.

• #2 Speak up and in a calm, simple yet direct manner.

Easy to say, but hard to do for some. Speak up. Others fear speaking up because they might hurt somebody else’s feelings, sadly, at the expense of theirs.

It’s okay to not be able to do everything. No one’s really built to do that. So, speak up when you’re tired or when you can’t because your schedule is filled or your budget is tight. It’s okay! People should understand this.

You can share your thoughts without being disrespectful, anyway. Speak up, but in a calm, gentle manner. It’d be beneficial for you & the people around you. 

You can say things link:

• “I feel tired organizing holiday parties because I do most of the work. Would you be able to help me organize this?”

• “I only have a very limited budget. I hope you appreciate the present that I got, even though it’s not that expensive.”

• “I am trying to abstain from alcohol. Would you be kind enough not to offer me one, even though it’s the holidays? Thank you.”

See, they’re not so bad at all.

• #3 Simply say no when necessary.

And, lastly, simply say no. It’s a 2-letter word, easy to say, but some people just find it so hard to say it. Practice saying no in front of the mirror, so you can feel more confident in saying it & in setting your boundaries.

Please know that saying no is okay, and it’s enough. You don’t have to explain further if you don’t want to and that is okay & definitely acceptable.

Where to start:

Practice makes progress on these, do not for a second think that I think these are easy.

Keep in mind these are just some of the things you can do to make sure your boundaries are set just in time for the holidays, but feel free to think of other ways that better suit you & your life.

And remember when people push back on the boundaries you set, it most often means that they were very much needed.

Much Love

Coach Eik