Why Digital Boundaries? My Old And New Relationship With My Phone.

HI! strap in for a little long one

- I just didn’t know how I could explain, Why and How did I become so interested in digital boundaries without sharing with you my story.

Let´s talk about Phones and Digital Gadgets.

In the past 10 years, we have really seen a massive change, and advances in technology. Since the first smartphone came out they have developed to have 100x more function than my first computer. This has brought us amazing productivity tools and ways to stay connected, quite literally at our fingertips.

But there is a flip side to all this productivity and in the most recent years more awareness has been brought to negative sides of how this technology is affecting us. Resulting in shorter attention span and ability to focus not to mention impact on our emotions. With more FOMO (fear of missing out) and way more comparison with others glam photos uploaded on socials. And last but not least stress from CONSTANTLY being available and connected, and expected to respond fast to inquires.

I always thought; But I Have To Be Reachable!

As a person that lives very far away from my family, am an influencer/role model and Online Service Provider. It is safe to say my phone plays a very very big part of my life now and has done for a long time. But it was not so long ago, I realised I had developed really poor habits regarding my phone use, and it was affecting me in a very negative way.

Quite frankly I was starting to resent my phone, I was feeling burnt out and questioning how long I could keep on going in the Online Industry.

I really felt like I was NEVER able to disconnect or have some peace and quiet for my own thoughts.

Normal Day, Please tell me I am not alone:

My day would usually start with checking emails and messages from remote clients from all around the world, in different time zones - before getting out of bed.

Once I managed to get out of bed I would have the overwhelming feeling I was already behind - there was so many messages that had ticked into my 9 inboxes since last I checked (1 Personal Instagram, 1 Business Instagram, 2 WhatsApp Account, 3 Email Inboxes, 1 Facebook Messenger, 1 TrueCoach Messages)

Try this, count together all the "inboxes" you are monitoring and are reachable on.

How are you doing at keeping track?

My day would then go on, trying to achieve the "to-do´s" I had listed out for the day.... And I had the phone next to me on silent but screen up and notifications on.......

As someone that was diagnosed as a grown up with ADHD, It is safe to say I was not particularly productive, with a combination of friends reaching out to say Hello / follow up on weekend plans, clients messaging about services mixed with accidentally opening Instagram to reply to a message but ending up scrolling for 10 min (UPS) I struggled to get through my tasks. And was feeling very scattered, frustrated and tired from trying to do it all at once.

Fast forward to 6 pm, and trying to finish up the work day, making some food or dining with friends. Later than I wanted to, because I struggled so much with the tasks I had ad hand. Phone still pinging with work messages, and after dinner lying on the couch, finally having some "down time" and being allowed to scroll on Instagram and look at all the puppy videos I wanted to....... but continuing to receive work messages, session updates and questions through social media. I literally felt guilty, like I was sneaking inn and hiding from people. Most often I would give in and respond to the messages, being back at work - until.... bed time.

Evening Before Bed, Little More look at Instagram, and chatting to my family and friends about how things are. While doing that, ohhh and there is also 3 messages that ticked in...... best get back to those in the morning - but ending up thinking about the reply I was going to type in way after the lights were out.

Does your day look anything like this?

Or is this just me?

The Turnaround Point:

When writing this NOW, I really ask myself HOW I DID NOT SEE HOW MESSED UP THIS IS??

It got to a point where I was feeling very anxious, overwhelmed and questioned if I could continue running an online business.

Little did I know it was MY habits and MY boundaries around my phone that was causing me to feel like this. Because this lack of structure and rules about my phone was limiting me from being available to help more people achieve their goals and live a pain free life.

Realizing that the only thing that was needed was that my attitude and habits around my phone use needed to change in order for me to feel better AND grow my business.

Road to Better, Not Perfect:

My road to healthier relationship with technology has been long, and it definitely did not happen overnight. Although overnight I started with one of the KEY things - that snowball effected into where I am today.

Once I had had enough, I heard a podcast one morning

- and someone mentioned they started each day with 30 min of personal work before they checked their phone AND never slept with their phone in their bedroom putting it away 30 min before bedtime.

And I thought to myself, I can do that - so same Friday night I took the phone charger off my nightstand and put it in my kitchen, and ordered an old school alarm from amazon to be ready for monday.

AND IT FELT LIKE MAGIC.

When I placed my phone on charge before brushing my teeth that night, went to bed & first time in probably 10 years I read for 10-15 min before falling asleep.

Morning after I woke up, reached for my phone (that wasn't there) so I stayed in bed for another 10-15 min set my intentions for the day and thought about what I would like to achieve. Did my morning thing, made coffee and THEN picked up my phone.

Replied to the messages and went on to tackle my to-do list.

After about one week of this experience, feeling pretty inspired with how well this testing had gone. I decided to take on next challenge, wake up early enough so I could leave my phone on charge for the first 90 min in the mornings and finish the "most important tasks first" before the rest of the world was awake - and responsive.

And it felt even better.

Why Am I Sharing This?

This was my start to setting digital boundaries, since then I have added a few - separated my work and personal phone, deleted Instagram of my personal phone, gotten a private WhatsApp for friends where I am not reachable while working and a business WhatsApp where I am not reachable on weekends and after hours.

All in all it has been great, I know there have been some initial issues but by batch replying to messages. And setting expectations with clients and friends that I will not be replying immediately but will get back to them usually within 24 hours. I honestly think my total response rate has gone up, relative to before where i felt completely overwhelmed and was hiding from any incoming messages. Less messages get lost in the volume and I feel so much lighter. I can keep helping people without sacrificing my sanity.

That is my story - please let me know if you are experiencing anything similar.

And try this, What would be the first digital boundaries you would like to implement ? (think minimum effort for maximum results)

Click HERE to hear my top 5 tips!